oreos that taunt

(*Sorry this is the second time some of you are reading this, I thought it was double-blog worthy!*)

I'm stressed. My boys are fighting over the same Spiderman car and screaming. My phone is ringing off the hook. The garbage disposal is making that funky noise again. And WHERE is that awful smell coming from?

My hair isn't done, my make-up not applied, my contacts aren't even in. I barely made it until breakfast as I dash about the house getting Ryanna ready for school and hope she's not late for the bus. I want to EAT. Something chocolatey. Something fattening.

I restrain myself...but I still have the inkling. The hankerin' for something yummy. Who cares that it's only 8:42 in the morning?!!! My poor neck muscles are very tense and I'm starting to feel myself shake from the stress. Most days I can handle it, but for whatever reason, I'm really NOT coping well. I usually would turn to food as a coping mechanism, but that's exactly the BAD HABIT I'm trying to break! WHICH EVEN ANGERS ME MORE!!!!! I WANT that stinkin' little Oreo cookie. Or the entire bag.

This mixture of frustration/anger/anxiety is usually what can trigger one of my migraines, and I'm REALLY not in the mood. I need to be anxiously engaged in my to-do list and not down on the couch with some headache.
I try something: I take away that stupid Spiderman car. I turn the t.v. onto Nick Jr. and sit the boys down in front of it. (I don't do it THAT often!) I go  into my room and sit on my bed.

I close my eyes entering a "no-thought-zone" and inhale deeply. My mind is FLOODED with thoughts about what's on my to-do list, who I need to call back, the thank you notes that I still have to write.....and on and on and on. I accept each thought, and remind myself that I have it all written down on the to-do list..........HENCE THE TO-DO LIST!!

I calmly remind myself that I have a goal. To achieve my weight-loss goal I need to keep up the will-power. It's a mind over matter. My brain is telling me that I want that Oreo, not my stomach. My brain is saying that I'm stressed and I'll find resolution with those 70 calories. NOT! I'll feel WORSE after I eat it. And enter awful CYCLE that I got into years ago. Exactly what I'm NOT going to let happen. I want the long-term and not the short-term satisfaction.

I imagine myself in Kohl's searching the clearance racks for that new shirt that's a size that I haven't fit into since I got married. Or going bathing suit shopping (also at Kohl's...duh!) for when I go to Hawaii this fall and how I want to knock Hubby's socks off. I say to myself... "If you can believe in it, you can believe it. And if you can believe it, you can make it happen!" I imagine myself in a real-life setting and I can nearly SMELL the store. That's exactly what is going to happen.  I can't WAIT!

I love that saying. At this point, commercials have plagued the boys' program on Nick Jr., and I hear them starting to need my attention again. I take another couple quick cleansing breaths and open my eyes. I smile and get off my bed. I feel suddenly refreshed, my body is no longer shaking, I don't want that stupid Oreo and it's no longer taunting me!!

I think that I'll be able to survive this day. Those stupid Oreos did NOT get the better of me.


P.S.  HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TO NICKY!!! Sorry we can't run to AppleBee's for old time's sake.  Missing you!